Holding my hand
by Ranowa Hikura
Summary: There was no feast in the 74th Hunger Games. What happens then…


Inspired purely by unofficalscore's soundtrack of the Hunger Games. Oneshot. Not proofread… sorry. There was no feast in the 74th Hunger Games. What happens then…

_Katniss's POV_

The boy before me is dying.

We both know it. There's no point in lying about it anymore. I can feed him soup each night and try and cool down his feverish body and clean the wound each day- but it makes no difference.

So why am I still by his side? I could be out there, fighting, killing, ending these brutal Games so that Peeta can get the help that he needs.

But I can't leave his side.

Maybe I was in love with him, like all of the Capitol must believe right now. Maybe he was just the only person I could trust in this arena and I didn't want to leave him behind.

Maybe he was just my friend.

My closest friend. A friend who I love and care about and can't stand to watch die like this without being able to help.

I care about Gale, too. I always will- but he never woke up, wondering if this day will be his last alive in the arena. He never stared up at the night sky as an anthem played and the faces of the fallen scrolled across like some kind of macabre list of those who were weak. Gale had never sat there wondering if it would be his face on that screen the next night.

Peeta has. And we share that, and I can't just give him up. Not now. Not now that I really know him. I don't know if I'm in love with him like he is with me- but that's probably because so mad at him. He didn't have to be dying! If he had just ran and let Cato kill me, he could still be alive.

Perhaps I'm just mad at myself, for putting himself in that situation in the first place.

"Here. Drink some soup; you'll feel better."

The usual nightly ritual. It never makes him feel better, but he follows my instructions anyway. Peeta struggles to look me in the eye, his own gaze red and cloudy. "Katniss, go."

"No."

He's asked me before. I won't leave him now, though. I can't.

"K- Katniss, I'm a l-lost cause. G- get out th-there. Win. Live."

I have to look away before the fire and determination is his eyes starts to convince me. He's suffered all this for me. It's the least I can do to remain behind and hold his hand while he dies… just I like I did with Rue.

And her death, still raw and fresh and painful, is what brings the first tear to my eye. It's the sight of Peeta's dying body that brings on the rest. "No, Peeta. You- you're going to be fine. I promise."

My empty promise means nothing and we both know it. And so I do the only thing I can- I lean forward and kiss him. Not for Haymitch. Not for those cameras and the sponsors. Not for any of them.

For Peeta. For him, for me. "I love you," I murmur, and it's not a lie.

I take his hand in my own, resting my other palm on his wrist and squeezing it lightly- and that's when I feel it.

His pulse is slowing.

"Peeta? Peeta!" I cry, looking up to his face in alarm to find his eyes half-closed, fresh blood on his lips. His fever's so high I can feel it from here and his skin is as pale as the snow that's probably falling back home in District Twelve. "Peeta!"

"I love you."

"Stop it, Peeta!" I sob, because I'm really crying now, tears of denial and pain streaming down my cheeks. I've already watched as the Capitol murdered and stole someone from me. I held her hand as she died and they can't be doing it again; not so soon, not to him. "Peeta!"

"Katniss… I love you."

From outside, a canon fires.

HGHGHG

Cato.

That's who the hunter is chasing. That's who the hunter will kill.

He killed Peeta. He killed Peeta to try and kill me- I'm not hiding anymore. I don't care if I win the Games or not- in fact, I'd rather not live much longer, not like this.

But I can't die now. Cato must die first.

It hurts to think. It hurts to do anything but clear my mind of anything and just follow this river up to the lake- but, like it or not, I'm still in the Games. I still have to pay attention to strategy and be smart enough to survive until Cato is dead by my hand.

Foxface, Thresh, Clove… and _him._

It's anyone's guess where Foxface is. Same for Thresh- but Clove and Cato are probably together. The last Careers left… they'll be at the lake.

It's not common sense to approach them there. Two against one. Two trained killers against one me, the girl on fire, the girl who doesn't care whether she lives or dies. The problem is, I just don't care.

Two versus one? Fine. I'll fight them both. I survived one encounter with Clove, I'll survive another. It's Cato I want dead- and he's arrogant. I'll tell him to fight me with honor- alone, without Clove there, to bring honor to his District. He'll accept. He thinks that he's invincible- that the death his sword so swiftly brings can not be brought back on himself.

As for Thresh and Foxface? Foxface is smart. She won't interfere when she sees me taking out the most dangerous tribute in the arena. And Thresh… I don't know him. But waiting for him to get killed would take far too long- my thirst for revenge is strong and immediate. Besides… since I'm going to die, I want him to win. At least Rue's homeland would enough food to live off in the coming year.

My mind is jumping around, dancing off different topics because I can't bear to think of him. To think _his_ name- so instead, I think of something else. Of Cato. Of his blood staining my hands. Of his dead body lying before me.

My steps are slow and steady. I'm in no rush. After all, why tire myself out now? These are, surely, my last few hours alive. They can't be enjoyed, but why run to my death? I can at least try and enjoy these beautiful arena the Gamemakers set up to become my tomb, even if that is now impossible.

Daddy. Rue. Peeta.

All three murdered by the Capitol. They've taken so much from me. But if I die in this arena, they can't take anything else- and there control over my life will finally have ended. And now, I'm choosing to die. I'm choosing to kill Cato and let death come my way.

It's what Peeta wanted.

_If I'm going to die, I don't want to die a piece in their Games. I want to still be me._

_I just can't afford to think like that._

Well, now I can. "I'll fulfill your wish, Peeta. Even if you can't."

And still, I trudge on through the forest. The thought of killing Clove briefly crosses my mind, to perhaps make Cato feel the same pain I'm feeling now, but I discount it quickly. I don't know if he is in love with her. And every second that he goes on living is a travesty of justice that must be rectified. Death is too sweet a punishment for the creature that murdered that simple boy from the bakery who tossed me life when his parents weren't looking.

It isn't long before I start to approach the lake. I linger back by the trees and look out at the shore- I'm too late, though. Someone else is here for revenge before me.

Cato and Clove are circling around Thresh- Cato with his sword, Clove with her knives, and Thresh with his fists. "Which one?" he shouts. "Which one of you killed her?"

"You miss her?" Clove taunts. "You miss your little buddy from your poor little District? What was her name again…"

"Rue," Cato supplied with a wicked laugh. My hatred grows stronger, a feat which I would of previously called impossible. "That was her name."

Thresh lets out a wordless yell at her name, and my anger boils over and I start to shake. "You should know, District 11, that her killer is already dead. The girl on fire killed him," Cato continued.

"I gave the order, though," Clove chuckled. "I told him to go out there and check the traps- see who was starting all those fires."

And now I want two people dead.

Thresh turns to he, but before he moves, I emerge from the forest. "Stop!" I cry.

The trio all turn to face me, and Cato and Clove both laugh. "Girl on fire!" Cato calls genially. "It's you! Where's lover boy?"

"Heard that canon earlier! Lover boy or the District 5 girl is dead- and I think I know which one!"

No. I'm going to kill Clove, too.

I slowly pull the bow from my back, taking aim right at Clove's heart as I slowly begin to walk forward. Thresh calls out to me. "You help Rue?"

"I tired to. I was too late."

"But you killed her killer?" At my steady nod, Thresh turns back to Cato and Clove. "Then I help you. They kill your friend?"

"Cato did. He's mine."

Over Cato and Clove's uproarious laughter, Thresh answered, "Then I'll kill the girl. For Rue."

"Oh, well look's who making a little alliance! Won't help you much. Two against two isn't going to help you out much."

This time, neither Thresh nor I reply to Clove's statement. We both have lost friends these past few days. Neither one of us cares if we win anymore. Our only goal is to see there deaths avenged.

We strike. I fire at Cato, merely injuring him, my slow walking turning into a steady run as I fire again. Thresh has been cut several times by Clove, be he doesn't even seem to notice.

Cato is running at me now, sword raised. I've hit him three times and only have one arrow and a few seconds left. I've got to make this one count. "For you, Peeta," I whisper before letting loose my final arrow.

It arcs through the arrow just as Cato begins to swing his sword before he's even reached me. The tip of his blade nicks my neck just as the arrow slices straight into the center of his forehead.

And Peeta is avenged- but there is no satisfaction.

Because Peeta's still dead.

In a haze, I turn back to see Clove and Thresh still fighting. The canon fires and both freeze for a moment, turning to see who has prevailed.

Clove screams.

The knife drives through Thresh's chest.

And suddenly, I am running to them both, throwing my bow aside as Clove leaps at Thresh's fallen form. He fought for me. He won't die for me too.

An animalistic cry is torn from my ravaged throat as I throw myself at Clove. We roll onto the sand, with me on top, and I punch her as hard as I can in the face.

But Cato's death has given her strength, just as Peeta's empowered me and Rue's did Thresh. All three of us, fighting for those already dead- though we are soon to die ourselves. Clove pushes me back and comes at me with a knife. She stabs me, right in the chest- then collapses on top of me.

Normally, I'd be too shocked to move- but now, nothing surprises me. I'm dead anyway and I don't care anymore. I struggle to sit up to see Thresh propped up on own elbow and a knife in Clove's back. He sighs with relief when he sees that I'm alive… then falls back into the sand.

I'm too weak to stand, so I pull myself across the sand and reach out for his hand. "Thank you."

"Debt… is… paid." His voice is nothing but a weak wheeze and flecked with blood… her knife must have punctured his lung.

There is nothing I can do.

Another canon fires, symbolizing Clove's death as I hold Thresh's hand as he dies… and he, mine. Because I'm dying too.

My wound is serious. I know that. I know that, out here, alone, I don't stand a chance. And I know that from years of watching my mother heal people… with Prim.

Suddenly, I can't die. Prim. She needs me… but I'm bleeding too much. I'm dead.

Thresh dies. Another canon fires. The next one will be for me.

Footsteps. I'm imagining them, right? No one is coming for me now..

But then a shadowy figure leans over me. Pulls me onto my back… holds my hand. Red hair falls down and tickles my nose.

Foxface.

"There are herbs I can use," she says, her voice low and urgent, "…but they would only prolong the inevitable. Do you want me to? There's still time."

"No." I don't. I want this all to end. "Let me all die."

There is no surprise in her blue eyes, just resignation. "I know." Tears from in her eyes and she says quietly, "I saw what you did for Rue… Peeta. You should have someone with you when you die."

"Thank you."

And so she holds my hand as I die. It doesn't take long- I can already feel the world slipping away. I don't know how much time I have left when I whisper, "Victory tour… District 12. Prim… my sister… tell her I love her."

Foxface nods, and it strikes me sad that I never even learned her name.

I turn my face up to the sky. The sunlight is blinding. I close my eyes..


End file.
